A prelude to Valentine's Day

13 February, 2006 (Monday)
An early start at Gem Lake. After being dropped off at the hut by the not-so-white Lifty truck we opened the door to find a pile of cafe stock sitting, ready to hit the shelves. There were boxes of chocolate milk, frankfurts, little cubes of tea bags and cookie dough.

The topic of the day was Valentines – whether or not the girls would receive Valentines gifts, their Dating Game entries, who was hot on the mountain. I sat and sold some tickets and nodded at the appropriate junctures.

With no customers after 11am (although I exchanged a lot of toonies for loonies), it was a dead as day. So to keep myself entertained I (at the bidding of Emily) started to write some bad poetry for the gals in return for them feeding me ("A cup of tea?" Thanks. "Want a fresh cookie?" Sure. "Up for a sandwich?" Well, if you're offering...). (Picture: Westridge at work)

The insomniac's Valentine
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My heart beats faster
At the thought of you.
I hope you don't mind
That I can't sleep at night
Cos all I can do Is think of the sight
...of you, in a camel hair sweater


A guy's Valentine
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Valentines poetry
Written for you

Boxes of chockies
Daisies and stuff
All this soppy crap
Is just a bit rough

I'm a guy, I admit
So between you and me
This valentines junk
Just doesn't agree

My not so special Valentine
To my not so special valentine
On this not so special day
I didn't get you anything
Cos I couldn't afford to pay
Instead I'm writing this little note
To tell you how I feel
Which isn't really very much
But at least you'll know the deal...


Cupid's misfire
My valentine, my valentine
Cupid's come and gone
And left me sorely wounded
Gutted by your scorn

I've see the way you laugh
At the way I dress
I've worn your biting jibes
That leave me in distress

But even though you spit on me
Even though you lie
Even though last week
I saw you with that guy
I can't help staring out
And thinking that you're fine
I'm a superficial little bastard
So I guess the fault's all mine?

But I didn’t have anything that reminded me of Big White. Flicking back to my Inked episodes I stuck this one together imagining the type of gal that the mountain often attracts (and a little of the mentality of the puppy dog boys here as well).

(Picture: Clouds off Telus Terrain Park)

A Big White Valentine
This infatuation's probably cabin fever
But it's feeling pretty real
I can't stop myself from staring
At your dainty heel
I like the butterflies that flutter
Up your calf, that fly
Toward the daisies that you've etched
On your inner thigh.

I like your snorting laughter
And the hair down your back
I like it when you're concussed
After a major stack.
I like your sexy touque,
I like your messed up smile,
I like your beer belching,
I like your sense of style.

So accept me as your valentine
Cos I won't offer twice
It's the best offer that you'll get
Think you can play nice?


A suave Valentine
Valentine's wishes
To you on this day
I think you're really special
In a tasty kind of way.

It's lonesome on this mountain
And you're a friendly dame -
At least the word that's going
Is you're always game.

So you're a desperate chick
And I'm a classy guy
Let's just hook up,
I'm worth at least a try.

If you don't like
What I say or do
Then you can let your cute friend know
That I'm moving on from you.

So after a few nasty poems I thought I’d try something a bit more heartfelt. Heck, even nice. .

A winter's Valentine
The snow is falling outside
And I'm in here with you
The fire's burning nicely
The couch is comfy too.

So we're sitting here alone
Just gazing as the fire smoulders
Stretched out and relaxed
My arms wrapped 'round your shoulders.

The snow is still falling
You're asleep upon my chest
Angel face relaxed
Catching up on rest.

Will you be my valentine?
I'll take silence as a "yes"
Now, if you're my valentine...
Can I relieve you of your dress?

(Alternate couplet)
So if you're now my valentine
It means you like me best?

Hoping that these little indulgences provide some amusement. While the intention was never commercialisation of this work, if anybody out there is interested don't hesitate to let me know.

Happy Valentine's Day!